HiGh ScHoOl

The colors of High school are like a rainbow. But they are mostly shown in dark shades or light. no in between. You are either well liked and everything is going great for you. good grades, parents buy you the things you need. you go out with friends all the time, you have fun, you are lucky. then there are those less fortunate, who, no matter how hard they try, cannot be treated like a human being. They are made fun of for simply being them. maybe they are breaking folkways, or just not behaving like the norm, this is a problem when it comes to life. High school can be very vicious and i think that girls in particular are far too cruel to one another. we hold grudges on things that we dont even know of. so when i look back of my high school carrer, i see that i have some light and dark colors so im going to say its safe to say the color of high school is brown.. all the colors mixed in a sense. This will most likely be the last time i write in here..on this blog. farewell readers for now.

PrOm

There is this day

It excited young men and women.

Preparations are key

tan is a must

money is no problem

nails and hair sheek

colors stand out

all for what?

one night.

200 dollar dress,

cute guy asks you

go and get your hair and nails professionally done.

take the whole day off and get ready.

buy a corsage,

go to dinner,

dance like crazy,

party after,

sleep in.

I handle it differently,

20 dollar dress,

i asked a girl friend,

i did my nails

i did my hair

i worked 9 hours and was done at 3

then i got ready

made my own corsage,

and made my own dinner

dance like crazy,

sleep after,

go to work at 6am the next morning.
thats a great prom :)

TaTs

A Month or so ago I went with a good friend to get his tattoo. He is currently in the National Guard and wanted something to represent it. So on his lower back, he got a tattoo of a marble cross with wings behind it. And wrapped around the cross were dog tags. While sitting in Rochester tattoo, I began to want a tattoo really bad. The pain didnt seem too bad and the end result was beautiful. So I am planning on getting one in black on the back of my left shoulder. Its going to be something I design and it will have a lot of personal meaning behind it... that may seem weird considering its a tree. but if you would like to know the meaning behind it just ask. I plan on getting it before school is over.

DeX & MoX

This weekend was a very long one. I got 2 new puppies. It satrted when my friend from work that lives near me told me to come over to see his neighbors puppies that they were trying to sell. There were six of them. the dogs were on sale for $50 and i really wanted one. They are 2 months old and they are Shiba Inu. I texted my dad jokingly that I wanted one of these puppies and he said bring one home.. but only if it was free. My step mom however wanted nothing to do with a new puppy. But my dad insisted on my bringing home a little guy. So I picked the cutest one I could find and named him Dex.. I payed the owner the 50 and went on my way home. My parents still think hes free. And my step mom was pissed. She wouldnt even touch the poor puppy. And so my dad kept him. And my dad told me that Dex was mine and that I could have him when i moved out. The next day i came home from work and my step mom came in and grabbed my arm and told me she wanted the white puppy too. So her thinking they were free, i fished another 50 bucks out of my pocket and got a white one named mox. Now we just have to get them fixed becasue of our 2 girl dogs...hahaha (the picture at the bottom is what they will look like full grown :http://www.kennels.co.uk/images/U.JapShibaInu.jpg)

sKiTtLeS

Im weird. We all know this. I am not a picky eater, but when it comes to candy or soda I draw the line at some points. I will not eat anything artificially grape. I think it tastes terrible. I have never liked the taste. I love grapes, but no purple candy or sodas. I also hate bananas. I can eat the fruit but not the candy. So when it comes to eating skittles i have to do it very carefully. No eating them with ease. cannot eat them in the dark. I have to always look into my hand before i throw them into my mouth. And the end result is me eating the red, orange, green, and yellow and in the bag all that remains is the little purple ones. Then they get pawned off to a hungry brother in arms reach. You think thats weird? You should see what happens when i accidently eat a grape one.

EyEs

I am weird. I am romantic and I often times make little games when it comes to guys.For instance, I am convinced that if i ask a guy the color of my eyes and he doesn't know, the relationship wont work. you may be thinking " wow shes crazy." or "thats stupid." but think about it for a moment if you will.. when you talk to someone. Or look at them for that matter, you look into their eyes. And if you are really paying attention, you should realize the color of that persons eyes. So when a guy claims he likes me and likes everything about me and wants to date me i ask them a simple question. The odds are in his favor... Im blonde so that pretty much rules out brown. Thus that leaves a couple shades of blue, green and hazel. So thats a 1/4 chance of picking the right color. but you would be surprised how many guys have no clue as to what color my eyes are.. and I bet you are thinking to yourself what color my eyes are.. and to answer your question they are green. precisely why i added the photo.

VeRtIcAl EndEvOrS

All day today both EA classes went rock climbing in the cities at a place called Vertical Endevors. once we got there we put our harnesses on and sat down to listen to the rules. There was 3 different kinds of climbing. Belaying with a person.. the automatic suspension belays (which are hooked up to hydrolics). and then there was the free climb. I mainly stuck to the suspension. It made it easier when you were falling. We all began climbing and right away everyones forearms killed. then went our hands. blisters covered them.. while climbing up the walls there were different colored tape by the rocks to show the difficulty. we got so sore. there was this one where you had to climb on the side of the face and eventually we started a competition, to see who could climb it the fastest. my personal best was 22 seconds. a couple other girls averaged at 30 seconds. Nate armstrong was the beast of the day with 11.09 seconds. there were lots of guys close to 13. then there was this guy who did a vertical climb onto the ceiling. it was awesome. but probably the most exciting thing we did all day was the relay. we had 2 teams of about 13. we had to climb the wall, drop daown, pass one of our shoes through the entire line and then procede with the next climber. the other team was cheating off the batt but we still beat them. mr, sammy was the last one in our line and he beasted it. i am sore.. but im ready to do it again!!

DaRkNeSs ReMaInS

I cannot see the truth in the world...

real things do not remain...

life is an illusion...

filling you with thoughts of normality

what happens when your whole life falls..

and you have nothing left?

I wallow in this sadness...

forever kept by its darkening glory...

I fight the compelling reason..

in the end all that remains is pain..

for now i know how darkness feels..

and with that feeling, it forever remains..

photo credited to: http://www.fairiesvampires.com/profile/AlastairCree

MuD!

Last friday our EA class decided to go to Spring Valley to go spelunking. For those of you that do know what Spelunking is, its just a fancy way of saying to explore caves. I have to say it was one of the funnest things i have ever done. We divided the class into 2 groups and my group was the first to go. We had some rules. that we couldnt touch any current formations in the cave. and we had to wear a hard hat with a light on it. we also had to wear gloves. at first it didnt seem all that muddy once we were in the dark caves, but after our shoes starting sliding and making mucky sounds as we walked, we came apon a challenge. to crawl through a opening no bigger than that of a tube slide at a park. the hole widened to about 4 feet in width, but it shrank in height, to a foot, maybe a foot and a half. as we are crawling on our stomachs, we are scraping our elbows and knees on all the sharp points. it got so narrow to the point where we actually had to tilt our heads to the side while crawling. i got so muddy. we also did some exciting suspension above rock formations. i have to say that the best part of the whole trip was crawling in those tight spaces and how we all helped on another if there was a problem or someone was scared. The color of mud never looked so good :)

StOrM

The rain consumes me..

I feel it all around me.

I look to the sky.

cool drops pelt my face.

i close my eyes..

i breathe.

I look to the horizon and see the storm about to come..

The dark sky emerging out of the blue haze...

i see the bright yellow flash and it contorts my vision.

i wait in anticipation for the sound of redemption. it comes.

The rain falls faster.

my hair soaked in its glory.

i let the rain consume me...

nothing else matters..

(photo credited to:

http://www.code4lib.org/files/lightning.jpg)

DaNdEliOnS

the grass turns green,
filling the earth.
the sky shines blue,
letting the sun shine through.
the dandelions shoot through the earth,
multiplying as the days go by.

Children break out their shorts,
to pair with their old flip flops.
grabbing a dandelions from their roots,
giving the beautiful weed to their mommy.
Parents start the grills,
to cook the delicious burgers.

Sprinklers are heard in the distance,
wetting their perimeter.
dogs run in the open,
barking as dogs walks by.


The grass then gets covered with dew,
becoming slippery with the night.
the sky turns black,
letting the moon have its turn.
and the dandelions wait.
They wait for morning

bRiTtNi

A few days ago my step sister, Brittni, got asked to prom. She is a senior at Pine Island High. Her boyfriend is Donovan from here. I set them up. Anyway, they have been together for about 2 months and he decided to ask her to prom. He asked me if she liked popping balloons and I said yes, forgetting to mention that she loves to pop them but hates the sound. So one day I was Brit and we were on our way back to her house and i just randomly asked donovan what he was up to and then he said he was blowing balloons to ask Bee to prom. She i told him he needed to get out of there. He did right as we got there and Brit didnt see him leaving. So we got upstairs to her room and there was a sign on the door that read, "pop the balloons to find the question". She opened the door and started laughing. There were hundreds of colored balloons. I told her good luck considering there were about 200 balloons there. We got what we needed and then went back to my house. She didnt actually pop all the balloons until later that night before donovan was going to come over. But she did. She put ear plugs in and poped away. :)

EvAnEsCeNcE

Not many people have stumbled upon the music of Amy Lee. She is, in my opinion, one of the greatest singers ever. Her group called Evanescence has a dark feel to it. Her voice sounds like a mysterious lullaby. If your not familiar with her music, it is very dark. It is usually very sad and touches topics not many want to explore.

This may sound strange, but her music is what gets me through all the toughtimes in my life.When my parents fight and blood is shed everywhere, i listen to "my immortal ". And when the molesting used to occur i would listen to "sweet sacrifice". then when it came to broken hearts it was "going under". Most people listen to happy, upbeat music to cheer them up. I however found comfort in her words and her voice and sang my heart out with her. Not many know what Amy Lee looks like.

She has that natural beauty that most would kill for. And when she wears her dark eye makeup and pasty foundation, she looks beautiful. She glows through her darkness.

The color of her eyes are also gorgeous. They are pale blue where they almost look white. Her look is intense!

pAiNtBaLl

My spring break started off pretty intense. A bunch of friends and myself decided to get together and hang out. We were at Ryan's house bored out of our minds. Aubrie and I said it would be okay to play paintball with Ryan and thane. So we go outside in sweatpants and sweatshirts. I pulled my hair back in a pony tail at the base of my neck. And i wore safety goggles. Thane and Ryan decided they only wanted to shoot us. For some odd reason Aubrie and I were fine with just being shot at. Anyway, we get outside and we are barefoot. Ryan takes the gun and aims at Aubrie's leg and says we have 5 seconds to run....5...4....3...then he shot her. I ran as fast as i could across the yard. Then I felt the piercing pain. It was in my right thigh. I continued to run as i watched the ball roll away unbroken. I found shelter and grabbed my leg and laughed a little. Aubrie got pelted with 3 balls splattering her colthing with bright orange paint. We called time out to check our hits. i rolled my pants up and saw the welt. it stung. i sucked it up and round 2 came. This time Thane took the gun. He aimed it at me this time. i turned and ran. Before i could even make it 10 feet from my start, i got hit in the butt. That didnt bring me down until i got hit right in the back of the neck. My hair became saturated in the thick orange paint. I fell to the ground laughing at the pain. After that we called it quits. I got hit 3 times total. Aubrie- 7. it was the funnest thing ever!

LoOk ArOuNd

look......
all around you
there it is
its always there
let it in
see it
feel it
its calling to you
feel it
touch it
taste it
smell it
hear it
the colors
they are all around you
hidden in everything you do
risen above the earths surface
breathe
look around
see it

its there

(photo credited to: http://bobwama.files.wordpress.com/)

ArT

As many of you know i love color....I wonder how you would know that. Anyway, I am taking art this semester and never liked to stray away from sketching. That was my domain...my comfort zone if you will. But being in art this year has made me think outside of the box and use color in my art.
so the piece above is actually my rough draft of a place matt that we are making. I never thought i would like abstract art. I found out that i love throwing paint around and seeing it form to its own ideas. There are no limits and no restrictions. No erasers, no sharperners. It makes me feel like im young again. The main reason why I used to sketch black and white is because i was always depressed and the black and white showed that more. The fact that I could use the absence of color to reflect perhaps the absence of other things in my life was appealing. But i now think that reguardless of what i have gone through color is always going to make things better.

In LoVe We TrUsT...maybe

You had my heart long ago.

we spent way too much time together,

the white winter soon consumed us in her dark hole.

and how we fell apart no one else knew.

little things annoyed me.

you challenged me at work,

and seemed to have a problem with letting me be.

i broke it off.

i couldnt take the pain.

to love someone who didnt understand.

and now your driving me insaine.

months went by and i got a new boy.

why is it that even when your gone, my mind you can toy?

i was with him for a week and you were on my mind often.

why did you have to come back into my life?

you went back to her.

she cheated on you.

but now its up to you.

i broke up with the sweetest kid in the world for you.

i still dont know what im going to do.

you came over that night and i needed closure.

but then as i walked you to the door you ruined everything.

you kissed me.

you kissed me with passion and force.

you stepped back,

i cried.

you left,

a part of me died.

you came back that night and woke me.

told me you loved me.

told me you were going to break up with her.

4 days later im sitting here like a fool.

you dont know how to break up with her.

i should have stayed away.

today is the day you have to end it.

if not then you lose me.

so i sit here thinking...

why is it that you never once broke down the walls i put up before?

why is it now that you understand that im putting these walls up to see if you care enough to break them down.

and thats what your doing.

your breaking them down.

im falling more in love with you everyday.

and im the one who is going to have to pay.

ScOuT ^-^

This weekend was one of the longest weekends i have had in a while. Not only was I stacked with homework, but I got a new addition to the family. Friday after school I was out with a friend and my dad called me around 4. He told me he had a present for me. I knew it was an animal or some sort because thats the only time he ever "had a present for me". So I asked him what it was and he said a baby kitten. He had been at work in Cannon Falls and heard a sqwaking noice coming from the corner of my uncle's shop. My dad went to go investigate and found 4 dead kittens and one alive one. He knew the mom wasnt coming back so he knew he had to do something. Therefore he put the little guy in a box with a blanket and brought him home to his daughter who adores kittens. So i get home and I was amazed at how tiny this guy was.He looked like a mouse. I instantly fell in love with this 2 day old baby kitten.He was all black with white paws and a strip of white across his pudgy face. I had to feed him by hand warm milk. He took it pretty well. Every hour I had to feed him. He was the noisiest kitty ever. I had to work early the next morning so i tried to get some sleep and failed miserably. Then after my 8 hour shift i came home to an energetic kitten crawling around. I had to work the next morning (sunday) at 4 which technically meant 3 because of the spring time change. Thank god my step sister asked if i would like her to take the little guy for the night. I said yes! i got plenty of sleep that night, worked my 10 hour shift and then came home.

My sister texted me and said she was going to drop my little Scout off. she also said he wasnt very loud or active at all. She got home and i saw him and almost cried. He was so skinny. He couldnt breath or lay straight. He kept falling to the side.. he began to get stiff. and then i watched him take one final breath and then nothing.... scout died in my hands and I couldnt help but be sad. That I got so attached to this kitten, and then he just died. But at the same time i was happy because i knew that because of me he lived 2 more days than he would have at the shop.

SeNiOr PiCtUrEs

So my sister, Brittni, and myself decided to do our own senior pictures this summer. We didnt have any money. But we did have boredom mixed with time and a camera. Also we had an acre of beautiful land at our footsteps. We each found a cheap dress for under 10 dollars and did our makeup and hair. We then set out to the beautiful horse pasture of her fathers house. The day was beautiful. Not like most would think. It was cloudy and warm. There was a breeze that was perfect to cool you down. We walked down to the creek and took many photos standing in the warm water. We also loved all the trees. We actually climbed on some trees and posed on branches in a dress. This was difficult but amazingly fun to do! We had so many pictures by the time we were done. We didnt edit a single photo. We didnt want to alter the truth. The beauty of the day and that we, as sisters, were part of this memory. The photos are beautiful. Im not talking about us in them. Im talking about the way nature was captured. Its greens and browns surrounding us in the shady day. That was the best day i had of the summer.

Barbra

Barb...
I miss her. She was like my grandma. She was my sister’s grandma and I went over to her house every weekend. She was younger too. I would go over there every weekend and we would eat delicious food that I never got at home; simple things like milk and chicken noodle soup. She was the sweetest and most strict woman I ever knew. She was strong. Not in the aspect of strength but in will. She worked harder than any person I ever knew. She taught me how to stretch a dollar. She taught me the meaning of love and respect and that everything I had been growing up with was wrong. She guided me. She bought me things that my family wouldn’t such as clothes and tooth paste. She was always there to correct my grammar and my posture and my manners. I became myself because of her. I was in 3rd grade when I got the call from my step sister who was also in 3rd grade that Bard was passed out in the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. I was too young to understand what it all meant. But the next day she was diagnosed with cancer. It spread. She stayed strong. She never let anything bring her down. She started chemo and her hair fell out. She just wore bright colored bandanas…These always made me smile because she was a grandma wearing bright colored things on her head. She never let anything stop her. I miss her. About a year later barb passed away. She was the closest thing I ever had to a mother. I have never let myself think about her and put my feelings out there. So I’m sitting here at the computer crying. No one will ever truly understand how strong this woman was and what she accomplished in her life. She died at age 56 and I will never forget her.

DaRkNeSs

All her fears through the years
were because of you, and why?
Few hardly knew.

Darkness surrounded her that night,
as she lay there in terrible fright.
You were drunk as you dont recall,
now she cant look at you, not at all.

Years went by and not a sole knew,
knew what you put her through.
She no longer wanted to be around you,
But what was she to do?

When someone simply touches her shoulder,
she has an instant flashback to all the pain you caused her.
She kept this secret for a while,
and now she can barely smile.

You were a family friend,
and sadly that has to end.

She finally found the courage to speak.
Everything was a blur that week.

She cant stand to see you yet.
And im guessing its going to be a while i bet.

Maybe she will find it in her heart to forgive you,
for all the things you put her through.

I know this because i am that girl.
I blame myself for what happened that night,
and for that i hate you.....

(photo credited to: www.masterprophetblog)

A DoZeN rOsEs

So theres this boy (And yes, this post is going to seem cheesy and romantic so if thats not what you want to read, stop reading now). His name is Brian and he goes to century. We met through close friends and hung out all over the weekend. We hit it off. He likes all the things i do; fishing, camping, sports. We have been talking for a week straight through texting and we see eachother almost every other day. One thing that shocked me was the event that occured last night when he came to pick me up at home. I was waiting for him and i was very nervous. I walked out when he pulled in our very small driveway. My step sister in tow heading to her jeep to go to work. I said good bye to her and open his car door. i looked down on the seat to find a dozen red roses waiting for me. I got in and he asked me if i would go out with him :) I said yes. Im a girl, and i usually hate all the mushy, gooey stuff. But i have never once recieved a flower from a boy before. I must say that i really loved the feeling. That night i put the 12 beautiful red roses in a vase on my desk in my room. They were the last thing i saw when i went to bed and the first thing my eyes layed apon when i woke. I guess i do like roses after all.

(photo credited to www.flowers-for-all)

The Color of War

The telephone slips out of her hand,

as she feels she can no longer stand.

The sweet morning air kisses her cheek,

as she falls to the ground and begins to weep.

The pain inside consumes her being,

as tears fill her eyes and her chest begins heaving.

Her tears fall to the ground,

and she is suddenly deaf to every sound.

Her little girl,

too young to understand,

walks over to her mommy and takes her hand.

Her pride and joy,

not a day over three,

looks at her mom and whispers, "you okay mommy?"

Her head begins to swarm as she tries to explain what happened to her father.

Her little girls eyes fill with tears,

as she finally understand what it is she hears.

She wraps her arms around her baby girl,

as her head begins to whirl.

She rocks the little one in her arms,

trying to keep the only thing she has left safe from any harm.

She looks to the sky,

no longer denying the pain inside,

and tries to cope with the fact,

that her husband isnt coming back.

He'll never have his only child to hold,

to love, to hug, and watch grow old.

All because he was a soldier in Iraq ,

who honored his country enough to fight back.

(photo credited to www.army.mil)

Nerds :)

Everyone loves the Nerds candy. How sugary and colorful they are. Well the other day my sister and i were going to go to wal mart or something, and she had previously parked up on a snow bank so i would have had to walk through the snow. Therefore i stood in front of her car and waited for her to pull ahead the car. I was eating her box of nerds she got from Valentine's Day and instead of pulling out the car she continued to sit there and text her boyfriend. I was cold so I tried yelling at her to go but she souldnt hear me so i took a handful of Nerds and chucked them at her car. They hit the window, and ran off laying on the snow on the hood of her car. Then she pulled the car ahead and i get in. Halfway down the road, her car began to warm up and I looked at the hood of her car and BAM! it was full of blotches of bright greens and yellows and reds! The heat coming from her engine warmed the hood which melted the Nerds and made the color bleed. It was the coolest thing ever!!!!

(credit to google for the picture)

Valentine's Day ♥

Valentine's Day is full of pinks, reds, and purples. However everyone knows the true color of this day is red. This always makes me think why these colors were chosen. Perhaps its because red is like blood. The blood that flows through our hearts. But what makes me think of even questioning the choice of red is that i often associate red with anger and frustration. I know most see it also as passion and love, but how can one color mean so many things that contradict themselves entirely? i like to think that people put colors into categories and then begin to pare them with memories they have had. Someone who has seen blood shed in their younger years takes red as a negative thing. Some one who has been showered with love and affection might see it as passion and trust. So the question is, who decided that red was positive? Some one who probably had a good life. Just some more random thoughts of mine... trust me, there are going to be many more to come.

(credit to photo at: google)

The Color of Night

Color.
The result of light;
covers the Earth,
and disapears at night.

Often forgotten,

The colors of night.
Hidden in the shadows,
firever reaches a great height.

The mystery of what lies beyond.
The excitement as your other senses tune.
the only one guiding you now is the moon.

Night is a thing of beauty.
Holds a truth that few know.
Take the time to find it;
and you'll be amazed at what it will show.

(credit to photo at: designyourway.net)